


Charlatan

by renstansyuta (kei_yairi)



Series: Anyone x Yuta [7]
Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Johnny/Ten only mentioned slightly here, M/M, No Fluff, One Shot, Sad, Sad Ending, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kei_yairi/pseuds/renstansyuta
Summary: For Yuta, the stage lighting he saw onstage were the ones that emitting his hopes.For Yuta, the power he showed onstage was one of so many ways of how he emitted his hopes.For Yuta, the one who sat beside him at this very current moment was the one who should be absorbing his whole hopes.Should be.Winwin exhaled. Watching him, Yuta smiled.





	Charlatan

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wanted to give "Lovely" (from Ten x Winwin choreography MV based on Billie Eilish-Khalid's song) as the title, but I don't want to lie(?), since there's nothing lovely (despite the lyric) here...orz
> 
> I lie if I say I don't want to ruin anyone's mood. I just wrote an ANGST. I've warned you. I was pretty much an emo when I wrote this, so, yeah. Before you even read anything, I want to say: I'm sorry. *bow*
> 
> While I was writing this piece, I was listening to:  
> . Billie Eilish – lovely (with Khalid)  
> . SHINee – You & I  
> . Aimer – Hoshikuzu Venus  
> . Khalil Fong (方大同) – 千紙鶴 (Thousand Paper Cranes) Close To You  
> . NCT 127 – Sun & Moon  
> . Sia – I'm Still Here
> 
> Oh, um, and, forgive me about the ridiculous timeline, about their visits to Hong Kong, their performance schedule, their meetings, and all. *bow*
> 
> So, (un)happy reading~

March 22nd, Hong Kong.

The warm night didn’t make the people on that road paid too many attention about the time. Yuta could still see several people walked in front of the line of stores at the other side of the road. Several minutes to go before the shops and stores normally closed when a busy looking middle-aged man was seen in a toy store. He was contemplating between two toys, a wooden locomotive in his right hand, and a wooden horse on his left hand. Yuta blinked and lost the view when a car drove off on the road between him and the toy store at the other side of the road.

After the car passed, returning his sight to the line of stores, Yuta watched as a boy talked to another taller one. The smaller boy grabbed the other’s sleeve and pulled him. The smaller boy was pointing to a cakes store, and whined a little to the taller boy. Yuta giggled at it. As he turned his head to another shop, Yuta saw a group of high-schoolers with big bags on their shoulders. From the brand Yuta read on their bags – and also from their shoes – Yuta could tell that they’re part of basketball club. They’ve just left a food shop with cheerful atmosphere around them. Yuta smiled.

Yuta silently thanked to the colorful lamps that were still lightened up the city. Though several smaller shops and stores were closed sooner, other lamps and lights were still on and gave warm atmosphere from its colorful illumination.

His imagination started to wander. It was like the lamps from every buildings and houses were emitting the hopes from people inside it. There were hopes for people would see their advertisements. There were hopes for people would enter their noodles shops. There were hopes for people outside would take their time to see the newest clothes designs that they showed in their display windows, and they might enter their shop, and they would buy some. There were other hopes for there were so many types of lamps.

For Yuta, the stage lighting he saw onstage were the ones that emitting his hopes.  
For Yuta, the power he showed onstage was one of so many ways of how he emitted his hopes.  
For Yuta, the one who sat beside him at this very current moment was the one who should be absorbing his whole hopes.

Should be.

Winwin exhaled. Watching him, Yuta smiled.

“I know it’s no longer winter,” Winwin said. “But it’s night already. Aren’t you cold?”

Yuta smiled. He waited until Winwin looked back at him, so Yuta could shake his head to answer Winwin’s question.

Cold. That night might be the coldest spring night could be, but it’s still not as cold as the first night when Yuta could no longer see Winwin as part of 127. The cold from the airport’s air conditioner couldn't even froze Yuta’s tears when he had to see Winwin off that day. It shouldn’t be that cold for Winwin was going to pursue his career with WayV, for Winwin had to head to China, to settle there considering their schedule for practicing, shootings, recordings, and other things.

It shouldn’t be that cold…

The warmth at this current moment, on the other hand, as Yuta took a glance to Winwin, made Yuta smile. The warmth Yuta heard from Winwin’s voice calmed him. There were no more connection problems that made Winwin’s voice sounded so weird once in awhile when they’re talking on video calls. There were no rush that insisted Yuta to end their conversation sooner for there would be photo-sessions or practices schedules, and any other things.

Speak of the devil, Yuta’s phone vibrated. He took it from his pocket, and read the caller: Johnny. Without turning it off, nor answer it, Yuta put his phone back to his pocket.

“Where’re you going after this?” Winwin asked suddenly.

“Anywhere… as long as I’m with you…” Yuta answered.

Winwin turned his head and looked toward Yuta who smiled at him. Winwin snorted at the answer. Other people might found Yuta exaggerating things with that answer. But Winwin have heard it several times, enough not to take it as mere jokes. Yuta said it. He’s only going to visit places where Winwin was, wherever it was, as long as SM let him. And there they’re here right now, sitting side by side, only separated by soft night air that blew between them on the bench. Yuta didn’t take him to go to somewhere fancy, and he didn’t ask Winwin to take them to particular places either.

The simple park gave more than Yuta could ever ask for. After they’re done with their performance in Hong Kong Asian-pop Music Festival, any place would do for him as long as he can see Winwin. Johnny helped him convincing their manager- _hyungs_ to let Yuta go for two hours, before they had to pack their things, to sleep, to catch their first flight tomorrow morning. And there Yuta ran, leaving the hotel where they stay, and meet up with Winwin at their current park. There, and Yuta wouldn’t ask for more.

The simple park gave Yuta the place where Yuta could feel Winwin’s warmth breath when they hugged earlier. The simple park gave Yuta the chance to hear how Winwin took a deep breath. The park gave Yuta the right moment where he able to put his head on Winwin’s shoulder, to be close enough to hear Winwin’s heartbeat, that seemingly vined to Winwin’s whole bloodstream, wormed to his skin, and finally quivered softly to Yuta’s ear. The simple park gave Yuta the place where finally, Yuta could feel everything that Yuta missed all of these months: Winwin’s breath, heartbeat, warmth.

…and Yuta wouldn’t ask for more.

“You know? I’m so happy when I saw you in the car at the airport yesterday. It was such a nice surprise that you’re in one of the cars that picked us up. No wonder manager- _hyung_ was being persistent and pushed me to certain car,” Yuta smiled. “After months, I could finally see your face again, without any screen barrier between us. It’s really weird when I touched your face for the first time in months. It’s not flat as it used to be,” he explained with giggles. “All of these months, every time I wanted to touch your face, I could only feel my flat phone screen. It was warm in a whole different reason. That was why I laughed like a mad man when finally I could feel your face under my touch again, Winwin.”

They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Yuta voiced out his thoughts again. It was like he said all of those sentences in one breath, without seemingly care for the oxygen capacity in his lungs. The hidden words that Yuta kept to himself all of this time, when he couldn't see Winwin directly for months, had been flowed out just like that.

Watching Yuta smiled, listening to Yuta’s words that was always in order, despite he bombarded Winwin like that, Winwin smiled. Watching Yuta laughed, Winwin laughed. Yuta’s smile always contagious. It didn’t change even after months not seeing him directly without any screen barriers like this.

“You’re always good in making other people smile, Yuta…” Winwin said between his laughters as he wiped his tear from his eyes from too much laughing.

After their laughter died out, they fell silent. Slowly, gradually, as they breathed back normally again, their smiled also disappeared from their faces. There, they drowned in the traffic noise from afar.

“You could still laugh like this, Yuta?” Winwin asked suddenly and Yuta stiffened on his seat. “You can still endure it, can’t you?”

Yuta lowered his gaze and could only stared at his fingers that were intertwined on his lap. Yuta didn’t answer the question. He couldn't.

“I remember the pain, Yuta. The pain that I always felt when I know I couldn't see you whereas I missed you so much…

“Those sweet words I’ve heard, I thought I could only hear it in _anime_ movies I’ve watched with you, in novels I’ve read, or in songs I’ve listened to. But now I use those words myself…” Winwin sighed. “I didn’t know that it hurt me so much just because I don’t have you by my side, taking care of me, making sure that I live my life well, eat well, sleep well…” Winwin said as he lowered his gaze, and wiped his eyes. “And you don’t know how much your cries affect me, Yuta…” Winwin explained.

“Winko…”

“When I saw you in my phone screen, when you’re alone in our room at the dorm, I really wanted to hug you and tell you that everything is going to be alright. I really wanted to tell you that you don’t have to cry because I'll always be there for you, no matter how far we’re separated. I really wanted to calm your sadness and stop that tears from flowing from your eyes, Yuta… I really wanted to…” Winwin clenched his hands tight. “I’m sorry that I’ve let you fight alone, whereas—”

“Yes,” Yuta cut Winwin’s words. “Whereas, you’re supposed to be beside me… there you can help me heal the pain that lumped in my chest every time I cried…” Yuta said. He directed his words straight to the person sat beside him, though his eyes gazed straight to lines of shops in front of him. “Ah?” Yuta gasped when one of the shops in front of his turned off their lights. Not long after that, two shops to the left also turned off their lights. A man – who seemed was the toy store owner – closed and locked his store’s front door, before he walked away from the store, and disappeared at the end of the road.

“What time is it?” Winwin asked as he gazed at the clock on his phone. “Ah, I forgot that my battery is out…” Winwin said as he looked at the big clock on a pillar, several meters away from where they sat. “Ah, it’s ten already…”

Ten.

Winwin’s language called it “shi”. Yuta’s language called it “juu”. The country where they used to work together called it “sib”. But it’s “ten” nonetheless…

Ten…

Their attention caught when several shops at the opposite part of the road already turned off their lamps. But even after those lamps were out, the town didn’t lost its lights. Several cars could still be seen drove on the road that separated them with the lines of shops there.

“I’m still here, Winwin…” Yuta said suddenly. Winwin turned his head toward Yuta. “I’m still here, and I’m waiting for you. You know that, don’t you?”

Winwin lowered his gaze again. His hands clenched, Not tight enough to grip something, but by clenching his hands like that, Winwin insisted his mind that he could lessen his anxiety a little.

Yuta suddenly held Winwin’s arm and pulled it a little, making him looking at Yuta completely. Yuta fixed Winwin’s jacket collar and caressed the stitching lines on the black collar. “I’m still here, Win…” Yuta repeated slowly. “I’m still waiting for you… but why?”

Yuta’s voice flowed slowly for only Winwin to hear. But with that night’s tranquility, with the fact that he had served to Yuta earlier, even before they sat side by side like this, it was like Yuta’s voice echoed until the end of the road. Yuta’s voice echoed inside his head…

…into his heart.

“I’m holding on up until now because I know, that one day, you’ll be coming _home_ to me…” Yuta said as his tear flowed. “Yes. You. Home. To me. Now. We met at last. But why _that_ was the thing I heard from you?” Yuta chuckled despite the tear that flowing again on his cheek. “Win…” Yuta called as he gazed upward and stared right to Winwin’s eyes. Yuta smiled with his bawling eyes. “You wanted to see me this evening to end our relationship?”

Winwin fell silent.

He fell silent as Yuta cupped his cheeks with both of his hands, and Winwin closed his eyes, enjoying of how Yuta touched him after all this time he didn’t feel the touch anymore after he was assigned to China with WayV. Winwin leaned to the touch too easily as Yuta’s thumbs softly caressed his cheekbones. But when Yuta’s question was repeated inside his mind, Winwin took a deep breath. “Yes…” he replied in a low voice, and almost instantly, Yuta’s thumbs stopped caressing his cheekbones.

Slowly, Winwin braved himself to open his eyes. He gazed at Yuta. Both of Yuta’s hands were still cupping his face. Yuta stared at Winwin with tears still flowing on his cheeks. Yuta’s shoulder moved following his sobbing. Steadily, Yuta lowered his hands from Winwin’s face. “Wow…” Yuta chuckled. “Wow…” he repeated as he stood from his seat.

Yuta walked several steps farther from the bench where he and Winwin sat. Yuta closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. Without wiping his own tears from his cheeks, Yuta turned around. He’s facing Winwin once again, who’s only sat on his seat. Yuta smiled when he saw Winwin’s crestfallen-face when he stared back at Yuta.

Slowly, Yuta walked closer to Winwin. Stopping right in front of Winwin, Yuta extended his hand to Winwin’s face. Stopping his movement again, right before he touched Winwin’s cheek, when his fingertips almost touched Winwin’s skin, Yuta hurriedly pulled his hand.

_…I’m with Ten now…_

It was the first sentence that Winwin said to him right after they reached the benches at the park that evening. Of all words Winwin could say to him, he chose to tell THAT first to Yuta.

Right at then and there, the smile disappeared from Yuta’s face, and his tear flowed again. With his shaking breath, Yuta fell on his knees sat on the pavement, in front of Winwin.

“Y… Yuta…?!” Winwin held Yuta’s shoulder.

“Why, Winwin…?” Yuta asked as he lowered his head, hiding half of his face behind his scarf, making Winwin couldn't see Yuta’s face. “Why…?”

Accompanying Yuta’s tears, almost similar tear flowed from Winwin’s eyes. “I… I can’t make you wait for me any longer, Yuta…”

“I don’t want to be apart from you, Winwin…”

“I don’t know whether we can see each other longer than a night right now,” Winwin reasoned. “After that, I’ll returned to WayV, and I don’t know when will I be able to see you again.”

“But—”

“It can be two more months. It can be next year. It can even be two more years, Yuta…”

“But I don’t care, Winwin.”

“YUTA.”

No. Winwin didn’t yell at him. He didn’t even snap. But the way he called Yuta’s name that time sounded so stern, with no more room for Yuta to step in, with no more chance for Yuta to make Winwin change his mind. His name that was flowed with an unsmiling voice was startled him, and made him stared at Winwin disbelievingly, in fear, shocked. He gazed upward, right to Winwin’s eyes.

“We can’t be like this forever,” Winwin said as he tightened his hold on Yuta’s shoulders. “I can’t bear to see you got sad while I’m away…”

“I… I’ll bear with it, Winwin…!” Yuta said, panic. “I’m not going to cry anymore…! I promise…!”

“It’s not you, Yuta…” Winwin said, and Yuta fell silent. Winwin watched how Yuta closed his lips tight, how Yuta then bit his lower lip – the lip that he could kiss freely months ago – and how Yuta tried to take deep breaths between his cry, how Yuta tried so hard to control his own breathing between his sobs. “It wasn’t you…” Winwin continued. “It’s me. I can’t trust myself. I can’t be sure of whether I can still bear watching our current condition…”

“We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we? Winwin, we’ve been through these past few months. We just need to do the same thing for another months. If we still can’t see each other in another months, well, we’re going to do the same thing again for another months. And again. And again. There’s no difference, isn’t it?”

“Yuta, I—”

“There was no problem, was it…?” Yuta tried to smiled again when he cried. “I know we’ve been separated all of this time…” Yuta reached and caressed Winwin’s black jacket’s collar again. “But there was no problem about that, right? Winwin?”

“Yuta.” Winwin tried to warn Yuta. “You don’t remember with what I’ve said earlier? Just when the first time we reached this park earlier?” Winwin gazed deeply into Yuta’s eyes. “I’m. With. Ten. Now.”

Yuta smiled again. “I remember,” he answered as his tears flowed again. “Yes, you’re with Ten now. And with Kun. And Lucas.”

“Yuta…” Winwin lowered his gaze and gritted his teeth. Suddenly growling, he startled Yuta. “I’m sorry…” Winwin said for startling Yuta, and for some other things. Winwin took his hands away from Yuta’s shoulder and wiped his own face in frustration. “Yuta…” Winwin tried again. That time, Winwin was the one who cupped Yuta’s face in his hands. “You know the relationship between Ten and me is not only that. You know what I mean when I said “with”, Yuta. I know YOU KNOW what I mean.”

Yuta’s smile disappeared. “I know… but…” Yuta’s breath got caught by his sobs again. “I don’t want to believe it…”

Heavily, Winwin sighed. He watched how Yuta slowly closed his eyes and bit his lip. Winwin watched in silence as he watched how Yuta wiped his own tears to dry his cheeks just to get wet again for new flowing tears. “Forgive me…” Winwin said in a low voice. “I thought you would understand enough from several times WayV’s account posted our photos together… the two of us…” Winwin leaned his elbows each on his knees. “I thought you could already see the evidences when there were always Ten and I in WayV’s videos…” said Winwin who’s currently could only watching his own fingers.

“I… I’ve watched your videos…” Yuta lowered his gaze too. “I’ve also seen photos about you. You’re right. You often seen together with Ten. When there’s only you in the picture, that means Ten was the one who took your picture, and vice versa,” Yuta giggled. “I… I’ve seen everything. Including Rainbow V’s third episode…!” Yuta held Winwin’s hand. “I… I’m jealous. I’m so jealous…” Yuta bit his lip. “How can the both of you look so intimate by only dancing together like that?” He lowered his head even more. “How come I never get a precious chance like that even before WayV was formed?” Yuta then raised his head again and look right through Winwin’s eyes. “How come you think I might missed one of those posts, Winwin? It’s impossible I didn’t see any of those videos and photos, Winwin. Of course, I can’t miss all of those. Not even any of it. Because…” Yuta covered his face with both of his hands. “You’re in it. And you’re so precious for me…”

“Yuta—”

“But,” Yuta hurriedly continued his words. “Isn’t it normal? Just like Johnny likes to take our pictures. Or—”

“Just like you loved to take my pictures…”

“No…” Yuta sobbed again. “Don’t compare it… please, don’t…” Yuta held Winwin’s hand, tight. He shook his head. “It can’t be the same. Things I did for you can’t be the same with things Ten do to you…”

“But that’s the truth, Yuta…”

“No! Don’t…!” Yuta leaned his forehead on his hands that were still holding Winwin’s hand. “I don’t want to believe it, Winwin. I’m trying hard not to believe it. Please don’t make me lost all my reasons to not believe in any of it, Winwin… I beg you…”

“Yuta, don’t plead…” Winwin left the chair and followed Yuta to sit on the pavement.

“Winwin…” Yuta called. “Can you tell me? How did you and Ten ended… together?” Yuta stared deep into Winwin’s eyes. “I’ll listen. If…” Yuta closed his eyes. “If I listen to your story, maybe…” Hesitated with his own choosing of words, Yuta bit his lip. He took a deep breath, and continued his words. “Maybe, I’ll accept the fact that you’re with Ten now?” Yuta opened his eyes, and hurriedly showed his index finger. “BUT, if until this midnight I find your story not very convincing, then until forever I don’t want to end our relationship.” Yuta softly tapped Winwin’s hand. “Now… tell me.”

Winwin sighed. “Ten… he… broke up with Johnny-hyung,” Winwin started. “They agreed that they couldn’t afford a long-distance relationship, and chose to end it. Ten would never told me that actually. If only I didn’t ask him about that, he won’t tell me anything. He won’t tell ANYONE about it,” Winwin explained. “I saw him after he received a phone call from Johnny-hyung. He didn’t look so happy back then. I asked him just for concern and curiosity. There he told me everything.” Winwin stopped to take a deep breath. “It made me think… if only you and I didn’t get too deep into each other before, like Ten and Johnny-hyung, maybe, JUST, maybe, a long-distance relationship won’t hurt you this much…”

“And hurting you too?” Yuta asked, hoped, with a smile.

Winwin startled. He lowered his gaze and nodded. “Ten also asked about you and me…” he continued. “He was shocked when he heard my plan to break up with you.”

“Oh, my God…” Yuta covered his face with both of his hands and sobbed again.

“I’m sorry…” Winwin bit his lower lip. Winwin moved his hand, almost touching Yuta’s brown hair, caressing it, but he stopped himself from doing so. Lowering his hand again, Winwin continued his words. “That time, watching how Ten ended the conversation with Johnny-hyung, I realized that our current condition won’t let me share my happiness with you too, Yuta… and… I’m sorry for I can’t fight for it.”

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s SM’s fault.”

“Don’t say that…” Winwin smiled with a sad face. “No matter what, this agency is the one that helped you to reach your dream, isn’t it? Nakamoto Yuta?”

“But, Winwin—”

“For several months with WayV, for several months I watch you with 127 from afar, I know, rather than with me, you’re better be with people who can make sure of your happiness, Hyung.”

“Don’t call me with that name,” Yuta shook his head. “We’re not in the relationship where you should call me with that name. No. I’ve never let you call me that way,” Yuta said with stern voice, despite it’s shaking for he was still holding his sobs. “And no. I’m happier with you in 127, Winwin. You know 127 with no ten people is not really complete.

Ten…

“I watched your vlive with Taeyong-hyung,” Winwin smiled. “You looked healthy with those foods. I’ve watched many The Origin videos. You looked so great onstage. And… you know? I bought Men’s Non-no magazine. You… you looked amazing in that magazine, _Hyung_.”

“Winwin, don’t.”

“Look at you. You can still shine even without me. _Hyung_.”

“Winwin, no…!” Yuta hurriedly held Winwin’s hands.

“Jaehyun and the others are there with you to give you strength, Hyung,” Winwin said as he covered Yuta’s lips to prevent him protesting his way of calling Yuta again. “You can slowly forget the emptiness I made after I’m no longer in 127, for it’s no longer empty, since you’re already complete.”

“NO. WINWIN, you know that it’s not true!” Yuta warded Winwin’s hand and bent again, leaned his forehead to his hands that was still holding Winwin’s other hand. “You… you saw it, didn’t you? I wore your necklace, Winwin. OUR necklace. For Men’s Non-no photo-sessions… I wore our necklace. Ours. The one you wore at Regular? You saw the pictures, didn’t you, Winwin? I wore _our_ necklace, Winwin…!”

Winwin shook his head. “Forget about us, Yuta…” Winwin – finally – caressed Yuta’s brown hair. “I’m an egoist. I’m not brave enough facing the truth of me being the reason you cried all the time. I’ve never wanted to be the one who made you like you are right now. I’m not strong enough for that. A coward like me doesn’t deserve someone like you…” Winwin said, but Yuta shook his head. “No, listen to me.” Winwin held Yuta’s arms. “If I can’t be that strong, then you can. If Ten could stay strong after he broke up from Johnny-hyung, then I know you can do even better than that.”

“But I’m not Ten…” Yuta gazed upward at stared at Winwn’s face. “I’m waiting for you all this time, Winko… couldn’t you do the same thing? There? For me?”

“I didn’t want to make you think that you’re always alone.” Winwin shook his head again. “You have Johnny-hyung and the oth—”

Yuta pulled Winwin’s jacket collar. Yuta closed the distance between Winwin’s and his face, kissing him a little rough when Yuta didn’t get the time to control his own pulling strength. Yuta moved his lips, and he nibbled Winwin’s lower one. When Winwin didn’t kiss him back, Yuta stopped. Not really breaking the kiss, Yuta took a deep breath. “Is Ten a better kisser than I do, Winko?” Yuta whispered to Winwin’s lips.

Winwin’s breath was trembled. “Ten’s lips are not as soft as yours…”

Yuta loosened his grip from Winwin’s jacket collar and slowly added more gap between his face and Winwin’s. “You’ve… kissed…” Yuta stared deeply at Winwin’s eyes. “I asked that only to test my own stupid-mind, but there you told me you’ve… kissed…” And that was when his tears flowed anew. “How deep is your relationship with Ten already?”

“Not as deep as our relationship was yet…”

“‘Was’… ‘yet’,” Yuta repeated as he tried to smile. “Well… now… I understand if you want to have deeper relationship with Ten…” Yuta caressed Winwin’s cheek. “I can’t do anything anymore to prevent that…” Yuta said as he pulled his hand away from Winwin’s cheek to wipe his own tears. “Oh, dear. I didn’t expect that I can be jealous more than I was already feeling all of this time…” Yuta giggled as he saw Winwin crestfallen at that. “Ten has beautiful voice. He’s a very cool dancer. He got center position in songs more than I do even before WayV. He got ALMOST everything I could wish for…” Yuta smiled as he touched the tip of his finger to Winwin’s nose. “Having you, now he has EVERYTHING I wish I had.”

“Yuta…”

“I’m okay, Winwin… I’m okay…” Yuta said as he closed the distance between his face and Winwin’s again. But when he’s about to kiss Winwin’s lips again, Yuta stopped. Slowly, with his hands still on Winwin’s cheeks, Yuta made Winwin bowed a little, so that Yuta could place a kiss on Winwin’s forehead instead. “I understand, Winwin… I’m not going to say anything anymore. Our relationship… ends here…”

Winwin stopped breathing for mere second.

“Say hi to Ten from me…” Yuta stood from the pavement, and he extended his hands to Winwin. Winwin accepted the gesture, catching Yuta’s hands in his. He then let Yuta used his strength to help Winwin to stand. Both of them then patted their pants from the dirt they got when they sat on the pavement. “Tell Ten… if we meet again after this, I want to hug him.” Yuta giggled as he wiped his tears that almost fell again from his eyes. “So… we’re good?” Yuta asked as he extended his right hand.

Winwin stared at the hand. He gazed at Yuta’s face that was already swelled for too much crying. Slowly, Winwin nodded. “I’m praying for your happiness,” he said as he accepted the handshake.

“ _ **I**_ have prayed for your happiness, Winko. I’m currently praying, and I will pray for your happiness. Always,” Yuta smiled. Being the first one who loosened his fingers, Yuta waited, bit his lip, for several seconds, until Winwin loosened his grip, and they broke the handshake. “So, after this, you… will have a meeting with WayV?”

Winwin nodded. “I’ll walk you to your hotel? Until you meet with Johnny-hyung and the others?”

Yuta shook his head. “You don’t have to. I’m fine by myself.”

_…”by myself.”…_

_I don’t have to but I want to_ , Winwin almost uttered. Winwin stared at Yuta’s eyes. The glitters from the tears were still there. “Are you sure?”

“ _Un_!” Yuta nodded. The Japanese boy chuckled as he gripped – a little too hard – Winwin’s arms. “Turn around!” he told Winwin as he pushed Winwin’s arm so that he turned his back on Yuta. “Go. Be careful on your way back! I’m going to be careful on my way back too! _Sayounara_ , Winko!” Yuta said, a little too hurriedly. Yuta turned around, making his back facing Winwin’s back. There, he started to walk away from Winwin.

On the contrary, Winwin didn’t even start to walk, as he turned around, and watched as Yuta walked farther from him.

_…“Sayounara, Winko!”…_

Winwin waited, and Yuta was still walking further from him. Not even once he turned his head toward Winwin, moreover to turned around completely to run back to him. Well, what did he expect? He made Yuta acted this way. Shouldn’t Winwin expected the current gesture instead? Sighing, Winwin turned his back on where Yuta walked away, and started to walk. Both of them walked to opposite direction, to separate ways, alone…

…and hurt.

Leaving the park from the opposite direction, Winwin’s and Yuta’s steps were stopped suddenly. Winwin was stiffened at his spot when he saw Ten standing several steps in front of him, and Yuta gasped when he found Johnny was looking at him, crestfallen.

“Ten?”

“Johnny?”

Ten walked closer to Winwin, and at the same time, at his standing spot, Yuta giggled. “You’re here? Were you waiting for me?” Yuta asked to Johnny.

Ten extended his arm toward Winwin, while at the other part of the park, when Yuta shed another tear, Johnny hurriedly walked toward Yuta, also with extended his arms toward the Japanese boy.

Ten wiped Winwin’s tears that flowed on his cheek, and at the same time, Yuta let Johnny hugged him.

“You’re hurting yourself…” Ten said as he saw Winwin closed his eyes and sobbed, while at the same time, at different place, Yuta burst out crying in Johnny’s embrace.

  
_…”No, it’s not lovely, all alone.”…_

 

 

**____++++****++=fin=++****++++____**

 

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt already hit me when I watched Rainbow V’s ep 3. Add it with Ten x Winwin choreography and "Lovely" lyrics, there. I'm so done with myself . . . ...o<-<
> 
> And I feel the need to say this: No, I don't dislike anyone here. I love them all (especially Yuta, of course, am biased here, thank you orz). I love the boys. Please, believe me...orz
> 
> I promise to make something cheerful for this boys later. I don't know when. But I promise. *guts!*
> 
> So, what do you think? About this? Care to share your thoughts with me?


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